A Karmic Cleansing
By Jacqueline, Australia
It all started a little over a year ago when out of so much frustration I applied for another job just for the sake of it. I should have known straight away that it was the ECK in play.
I knew the following day after I applied for the job that it was mine. My partner and I were driving somewhere and in huge letters a sign overhead read “Kiss your boss goodbye.” Funny thing was that he didn’t even see this huge sign. It was only meant for me.
Within two weeks I had secured this job and handed in notice. I thought that it was going to be a great job. I felt quite comfortable moving to a doctor’s surgery where I knew one of the doctors, and had heard many times from her how great the place was.
But from the first day I started, the office manager whom I had to work with did not want me there. She took an instant dislike to me and was determined to make it impossible for me to stay. I, on the other hand, had many lessons to learn but just didn’t know it at that time.
As the weeks passed, I started to see how one’s physical vibrations and attitudes affects everyone with whom you come into contact with. Especially those in close proximity. My behavior and attitudes from my previous jobs were now being reflected back to me through the office manager. In my mind it seemed to me to be magnified ten times worse. It was relentless.
It was getting increasingly more difficult but I would not allow myself to quit. Part of it truthfully was out of fear, but mainly because I knew that if I didn’t deal with this it would follow me to the next job. I was determined not to do that to myself.
Though I continued to do my spiritual exercises daily the situation did not change. I wrote my gratitude journal daily but still nothing. I was very much conscious of how this experience so far had made changes within me. I was more compassionate, loving, patient, and much more humble. What I wasn’t aware of at this time was that I had lost my faith and trust. Over the nine months with no resolution to this situation I had allowed it to almost vanish.
All came to a head at the end of the year when my stress reached such a high level that it manifested into the physical. I now had reached what I call “rock bottom.” I was physically sick and mentally struggling. I continued doing my spiritual exercises daily but my heart was no longer in it. After all these years in ECKANKAR the spiritual foundation I thought I had, was not there. I was not prepared for the spiritual winds that were now blowing, and believe me they were blowing!
A short time later, I was talking with my partner and he said something. In that moment everything changed. I didn’t like what he said and I started to seriously think about what I wanted spiritually. Did I want to be a Co-worker with God? Did I want to move spiritually forward or not? Where did I want to go spiritually? I made the decision that I wanted spiritually to move forward. I started doing my spiritual exercises more consciously and with more focus. Most of all I started doing them out of love with a different attitude.
Within a month the office manager handed in notice. I knew this was the ECK’s doing. I realized that in the months that nothing seemed to change, the Mahanta was resolving my karma. When I hit rock bottom and felt abandoned, that was my test.
I saw that through this year-long experience I had changed and become a more conscious, loving, and better human being because of it. I got a much deeper understanding of Soul and the personality that camouflages it. I learned that my faith and trust needed to be tested in order to strengthen that weakness within me.
I could now recognize what it felt like to be truly grateful and humble. All these things I could now add to my treasure chest knowing I now had the confidence I needed. I had felt the pain and learned so much. I could use this in a positive way.
Could the Mahanta have made these changes any other way? Honestly, no. Maybe it could have happened but how many lifetimes would it have taken?
I now understand even more the words “I am always with you.” It is up to me to recognize it.