The Secret of Love

By Harold Klemp

Someone wrote to me about having a very hard time finding love. The secret of love is: To get love, you must give love. You’ve really got to open yourself and give freely of yourself. You can’t fake it. It’s got to be so. And when you do this, you become a magnet for love. Then the right person will come along because you’re no longer repelling. You’re attracting, because of your open heart.

Even when you’re in a relationship, it takes a long time to get engaged in it, if you will. It takes time because there are past hurts—all kinds of things that are in the past that need to be overcome.

A relationship needs to build too. It needs to grow more deeply than the first physical attraction, which is strong. But then it will grow into something that is very deep, if you let it.

Probably the hardest thing for people to remember during an argument is: Only one of us should be talking at a time, and one of us should be right at a time. Let the other be right. And this is hard. It’s wisdom—a lot of wisdom. Because when you’re in the heat of battle, you’re not thinking wise thoughts. The emotions have taken the field.

You’ve got to get apart from that. You’ve got to stand above it like an astronaut in space. Look down, and catch yourself. Look down as you would upon a Shakespearean stage: just players in the physical body, having a bad day,

There are such things in many relationships—many things.But if you can get through them, the love will grow deeper over time. And the time will come when you simply cannot think of yourself as apart from your mate. You’re one. Your mate’s pain is your pain. Your mate’s joy is your joy. Those of you who have stayed the course, you know what I mean.

If I can leave you with one thing, it’s this: to get love, you’ve got to give it. You’ve got to open your heart. Open it completely.

The longer we spend getting experience in this life, the more we learn about love.

May the blessings be.

Excerpted from The Master’s Talks in Year of the ECK Teacher—2010–11.


27 Responses to The Secret of Love

  1. Okure Kingsley says:

    Thank you Mahanta for such a beautiful talk

  2. Cecilia Martinez says:

    Gracias Mahanta! Que las bendiciónes sean!

  3. ifeoma says:

    Love is all there is. Thank you mahanta. May the blessings be.

  4. George Christopher says:

    I once thought I knew of what Sri Harold has written here in relation to love in a relationship, I now stand humbled by life experience’s which have brought me to the edge of a more expansive clearly defined new world with ever growing greater love, compassion, honesty. He simply states the obvious to the maturing soul. With much appreciation. M to M to M

  5. roberte says:

    thank you mahanta. you realy know my need. i know now what i need. thank you a lot.

  6. James Vlcko says:

    Right & wrong are merely mental concepts; it is when we face different viewpoints on life, & when we judge each other negatively, that conflict occurs. We need to discuss things calmly and not give way to anger and self-righteousness, then find a way towards win/win. Solutions often entail compromise & extra effort to not fall into regular mind-patterns & knee-jerk responses. With love, and divine guidance, there is always a solution to any conflicting opinions about our approaches to life. Remember, as Harold says, even in primary relationship, your field of dreams will not be same as your partner’s field of dreams. Accept and support each other, and more harmony in the family will result. The same can be said, by the way, in relating to children, especially when they reach adolescence. Their approach to life, their spiritual lessons, will not be the same as yours. Support them through their difficult times as they discover what is important to them in life; instead of trying to guide and protect them into the way you have learned to be in the world, since they only interpret this as an effort to control them; and you will both grow in love.

  7. Julia says:

    Thank you Dear Mahanta for sending me this email link at this time. As ever perfect timing. Reminding me that I don’t need to be right I just need to be love.

  8. Hillary H Onah says:

    Thank you Mahanta, it is good reminder to us all. Love makes everything happen if you know the secret.

  9. Bess says:

    It occurred to me that I don’t need to give up my values, but I can go silent and listen, try to step in the other shoes, see what I can learn, and let Spirit work. To me, that is love.

  10. Uwem says:

    I come to realize that one or more having Love in a family or society is like living in heaven on earth.
    Thank U Master for that refreshment

  11. Etieno Attat says:

    Love is all, thanks Z!!!

  12. Albert ibinabo says:

    Love is the Golden key

  13. Albert ibinabo says:

    Have learned to give love with an open heart so I can grow spiritual. Thanks to the Mahanta

  14. I says:

    I read a saying, stop for a while and be greatful for the blessings you already have. What if you have blessings but don’t feel loved?

  15. debaba kabemba says:

    thank you Z for the wonderful lesson ….let other be right and you be wrong …it a light to my life lessons. I love you mahanta

  16. Beatrice Oslund says:

    When I started reading I had to start reading it again. I felt like the Mahanta had answered the question I had asked many times. I was in abusive relationships before & often yearned for a healthy one. I am in counselling & have come a long way in 1 1/2 years and am so grateful to the Mahanta for opening that door for me & others as well.

  17. Lotus says:

    Love : “You can’t fake it”
    It’s true. Everyone is capable of finding love. You just have to open your heart and let go. Fear is what keeps us from finding love. Fear also prevents us from giving love. If don’t give, how then can you receive right?
    Thank you Wah Z!

  18. Akpobome Ogbon says:

    So true. So real. So beautiful. Understanding love is like a whole journey. But in the end love is all there is and all we need. Thank you Mahanta.
    May the blessings be.

  19. Marcus says:

    Feeling your sweetheart’s pain deep in your heart .. and being joyful for their joy, yes indeed dear Sri Harold, that is love ….. a very very precious place to be (and hard to reach .. it’s not easy). I know this from experience! Bless you!

  20. Peter Akpokodje says:

    I realise that this talk addresses love completely. It feels like one may become vulnerable in giving. What a challenge. And everytime I understand this a bit more, I ask how can I fear love?… the two are in different dimensions. Courage to be, Z. Thankful to the Mahanta for the gift of consciousness to remember the play of Soul.
    Give love, Be open in heart, Accept love.

  21. Bi Veronica Ngwa says:

    Thank you so much Z for this article.
    It has touched me so deeply, then I thought how I can get this to the reading and understanding of everyone around me……May The Blessings be.

  22. Zacchaeus Akighir says:

    Thank you Wah Z for this publication. “Let the other be right”, as you have said is the toughest thing to do. But it is also wisdom, as you have said. I wish I can always remember this teaching at the heat of disagreements, as they often crop up. I know that in the end, I will be the benefactor through the peace of mind, if I can remember your wisdom note every time. It will surely give love a chance to grow and blossom with time. May the blessing be.

  23. Nnenna says:

    Mahanta thank you. I had a fulfilled relationship with my husband though he is late now. In addition to what the master said, some cultures and religions also influence love and relationships, but be that as it may, when you have this understanding of the role love can play in any relationship at all, then you have no option than to give in your best, just serve and do every thing for ECK. Don’t see your self as better, give love and that is the only way you can serve God and other souls even in marriage or ordinary relationship, it will be returned, like begets like, love attracts love. Thanks Wah Z.

  24. michael best says:

    I have been married for over 30 years and this is what it takes. I also let the ‘little self’ in me (ego) take a back seat for me. To not let ego get into the marriage to create more issues than one needs or wants. I find that in letting of ego gives one a better perspective in arguments or disagreements to be worked out. I found that also in doing so, I do not take on negative feelings in the process so I am better equiped to handle the arguments as they occur.

  25. Sena G. says:

    L’amour rend tout facile, il nous permet d’accepter les gens comme ils sont pas ce que nous voulons qu’ils soient. Il rend les relations harmonieuses et facile à vivre.

  26. Paul says:

    I’m sitting in a coffee shop reading this, and tears are flowing . Tears of understanding. Thank-you.

  27. Kenoye Edughom says:

    Thank you so much Z for this piece, it really got to me. It was just what I needed. I’m very grateful.

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