The Secret of Love
By Harold Klemp
Someone wrote to me about having a very hard time finding love. The secret of love is: To get love, you must give love. You’ve really got to open yourself and give freely of yourself. You can’t fake it. It’s got to be so. And when you do this, you become a magnet for love. Then the right person will come along because you’re no longer repelling. You’re attracting, because of your open heart.
Even when you’re in a relationship, it takes a long time to get engaged in it, if you will. It takes time because there are past hurts—all kinds of things that are in the past that need to be overcome.
A relationship needs to build too. It needs to grow more deeply than the first physical attraction, which is strong. But then it will grow into something that is very deep, if you let it.
Probably the hardest thing for people to remember during an argument is: Only one of us should be talking at a time, and one of us should be right at a time. Let the other be right. And this is hard. It’s wisdom—a lot of wisdom. Because when you’re in the heat of battle, you’re not thinking wise thoughts. The emotions have taken the field.
You’ve got to get apart from that. You’ve got to stand above it like an astronaut in space. Look down, and catch yourself. Look down as you would upon a Shakespearean stage: just players in the physical body, having a bad day,
There are such things in many relationships—many things.But if you can get through them, the love will grow deeper over time. And the time will come when you simply cannot think of yourself as apart from your mate. You’re one. Your mate’s pain is your pain. Your mate’s joy is your joy. Those of you who have stayed the course, you know what I mean.
If I can leave you with one thing, it’s this: to get love, you’ve got to give it. You’ve got to open your heart. Open it completely.
The longer we spend getting experience in this life, the more we learn about love.
May the blessings be.
Excerpted from The Master’s Talks in Year of the ECK Teacher—2010–11.