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My Test on the Journey Home

My Test on the Journey HomeBy Nancy, Alberta, Canada

In 2015 I experienced a big change in my outer life. On February 4, I was let go from my job after seven years. My first reaction was to prove my value by finding another position immediately. When that did not happen, I began to doubt my value. I was no longer contributing to the household, and over the summer doubt and fear crept in. Only my spiritual exercises kept me from falling into despair.

In the spring I had a strong urge to read two ECK books, The Tiger’s Fang and How to Master Change in Your Life. Normally I read a book quickly and go on to the next one. This time it was different with both books. I read them slowly, absorbing every word and sentence.

As time passed, I noticed a peace and stillness entering into my life—something that had been missing.

Slowly, over the course of eleven months, I was changed by the experiences that entered my life. Gratitude for all that I have replaced the need to fill my life with things that never truly satisfied me. Before I was let go from my job, I had asked in contemplation for help with discipline and detachment. Learning to live on a smaller income, setting up a budget, and having the time to work on bringing balance to my health have been the gifts of being between jobs. The year that has started I am calling the Year of Simplicity.

Reflecting on my previous job, in contemplation I sought to understand my role in the problems that occurred over the seven years. In my dreams and during the day I began to see moments when I did not handle a situation with love. My words and actions were harsh. I expressed strong opinions certain I was right, and did not see the other point of view. It was like watching a movie. And as it moved forward through the years, I understood my role in the events that led up to my departure. I came to understand that ego and impatience got in the way and caused many problems.

Accepting responsibility for my actions made me uncomfortable. I was looking into the mirror, and it has not been easy to see the truth. It was, however, necessary. And I began to feel love and patience with myself as Soul. Through this experience, I was able to let go of the past.

As the year drew to a close, I felt an urgency to go through my clothing. I began filling bags with clothes that no longer reflected who I now was. I understood that another way I had set myself apart at work was in my choice of clothes. I dressed more formally than my coworkers. Now, as I looked at the clothes, I understood I had outgrown them, and it was time to let go. When I went shopping, I was drawn to clothing that is softer, more relaxed—the hard edges have softened. The hard shell I wore to protect myself is gone, and my smile is genuine and filled with love. Joy fills me, Soul, and as I go through the day, I smile and see beauty everywhere.

The other day, I stopped to pick up the mail on the way home. And on the top of the mail stack was an invitation—a pink slip for my Fourth Initiation. The past year has been a wonderful journey of discovery and growth. During the low moments I cried out in pain to the Mahanta, and he was always there. I felt the presence of the ECK Masters giving me love. The challenges were blessings. And I understand more fully that growth does not happen when life is going smoothly; it occurs when I am being tested. I sit here writing, filled with a love so pure and deep for the Mahanta and the ECK Masters who have helped me throughout many lifetimes.

And now I journey home to Sugmad, having found my way to the path that will take me home.

17 Responses to My Test on the Journey Home

  1. Rob Ilechuku says:

    Dark nights of the soul such as embodied in this article lead to a resetting of our spiritual compass. At first this compass appears to stop working almost completely. Then, as we absorb the lessons from the tests or if we simply stay true to the Spiritual Exercises of ECK, this spiritual compass is restored, usually to a better state than previously.

  2. nr says:

    Your love ❤️ for the Mahanta and the ECK Masters is palpable – Thank HU for sharing

  3. charles says:

    What is appealing to me: “I understand more fully that growth does not happen when life is going smoothly.” Look very similar to what I am going through, right now. Thank for reminding me this love of Mahanta.

  4. Peter Akpokodje says:

    Thanks Nancy for sharing your uplifting experience many can relate to in these times of change in consciousness.
    Merci.

  5. Alexandra says:

    Thank you for sharing. The spiritual key to live is offen not were we seek it.
    It is deep in us and it is a wonderful experience to successively open all these inner doors
    and in the end to realize that our outer life is changing for our and all wellbeing.
    I know what you write because I had similar experience.

  6. s says:

    Thank you for sharing this. Certainly a wake up call for me to learn to balance my outer life more: work, health, family

  7. Lawson says:

    I think it is a blessing that I found this blog site. This is a way that I can communicate with others about ECK and anything that may be of a major or minor concern.

  8. Mangakane Theresa Puoane says:

    Many thanks for such inspiring stories which are really uplifting me in my current crisis as I’m facing myself.
    MTBB!!!

  9. Bi V.N says:

    Thank you Nancy for sharing your experiece.
    Thank you all for your comments .
    I love this blog with all my heart. It is like my dessert …it gives me the fullness, the satisfaction after all the day’s work.
    Thank you Mahanta for always looking for a way to satisfy us spiritually.
    May the Blessings be.

  10. Ameerat says:

    Your story is very touching and brought tears to my eyes. I can actually relate to it. And I’m getting better everyday, slowly though but surely. I know Magenta got my back no matter what

  11. Peter says:

    I really like the path of Eck, because it brings the thing I need more than anything, Love.

  12. Ava Lewis says:

    Thanks Nancy for sharing your journey. I too had a similar situation at work. Once, I stopped and realized my part, I smiled and understood the blessings. May The Blessings Be.

  13. Irene Sng says:

    Your sharing Nancy, has brought me to a further understanding of pitfalls. Some years ago I left my family. Though it was short span, it was an truly unforgiving act. I made a comeback and tried with every effort to be a better person but constant reminders hurts. Knowing that troubles, knocks are challenges that make us grow to awaken but, still it is tough – no reasoning is ever enough – it became a embedded scar.
    Truly, whatever one does, the change will be accomplished when it’s time. God’s time.. I do my daily spiritual exercises knowing that Mahanta is always with me.
    May the blessings be!

  14. Rama Badarou Soule says:

    Thanks for sharing, Nancy. It is true, troubles are challenges that make us grow. They are like knocks falling from everywhere to awaken us to change: We must turn the sheet!
    When we do not give up, we come to realize that it takes really no less to awaken us for the next step, the new stage, brighter than the previous one.
    I bring this new stage closer to the process of the hatching of a brooded egg which shell breaks down little by little, so that the chick can see the light of day. The mother-hen (Mahanta) provides invaluable helps, however the chick (chela) has to make a substantial contribution (spiritual disciplines). The chick can no longer be held inside the shell; it is now high time. Then, progressively, under the guidance of the mother-hen (Mahanta) the shell breaks completely and the chick comes out delicately (new stage, initiations, etc.).
    Whatever one does, the change will be accomplished when it’s time. God’s time.The management adopted by each Soul does make the difference. The ECK Spiritual Exercises give strength and comfort. They are very necessary to help controlling emotions in order to overlooking every life situations. In addition, they offer the opportunity to realize the Mahanta whose love for all Souls including animals is immeasurable. With the unfailing support of the Mahanta, we can ride on the crest of the waves.

    We are on mission here below. At the end, we have to move forward: going back home, leaving all materials here! Of course, they will no more useful in our New-Real House, God’s House.

    The road may seem full of pitfalls. Fortunately, ECK Spiritual Exercises are great! Then, one realized the constant presence of the Mahanta. He/It stands always with us; as close to us as the beating of our hearts.

    I cling firmly on the Mahanta. He/It accompanies me everywhere, in all that I undertake. I remain grateful to the Mahanta.
    Thanks again, Nancy.
    May the blessings be!

  15. Amrutha says:

    “I understand more fully that growth does not happen when life is going smoothly.” Truly appealing to me. May the blessings be, Nancy!

  16. David says:

    This is why Eckankar is so appealing. It is a path of responsibility, but more than that, it is a journey of change to enhance our appreciation and love for life and is tailor made to fit to each individual instead of vice versa.

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