Letting Go of the Past

By Benny, Minnesota

Earlier this year I began working with an exercise from Spiritual Exercises for the Shariyat, Book Two, by Sri Harold Klemp. I love true contemplation of the ECK works and diving into a spiritual exercise over an extended period. Continually working with one exercise in contemplation often reveals hidden aspects that don’t appear at first.

This particular exercise was titled “The Disentanglement of Soul.”

The quote from the Shariyat reads, in part:

“The practice of discipline must now enter into the scheme of liberation of Soul. This is the unfoldment and disentanglement of Soul from every identification It has had on every lower plane in the material or psychic worlds.”

The exercise that follows says:

“Going forward, be prepared to let go of memories or the retelling of life stories that needlessly entangle Soul. Let the Inner Master help you clean out your inner closets.

“There will be more room for love.”

An Entanglement of Soul

For many years I told myself and others a particular story of my childhood. It focused on some very challenging experiences I’d had growing up, especially at school. The story was like a well-played record—it would sometimes jump around but was still the same old song, the same old story.

Since finding Eckankar in my early twenties, I had numerous dreams where I was taken by the Mahanta back into these experiences. Often the location and people varied, but I knew I was looking at the same situation from different angles.

Each time, it would feel a little lighter, as if the Mahanta was giving me an opportunity to heal this part of my past. Over time, the dreams became less frequent and more neutral.

Fast-forward over ten years, and I had a dream that represented a turning point in my healing journey. In the dream I’m at a high-school reunion. I walk around, greeting everyone eye-to-eye. With joy and laughter, we exchange stories of where our life paths have taken each of us.

The dream was full of so much light and love. I woke up in a state of bliss—knowing without a doubt that my long journey of healing was now complete on the inner. (By the way, this was a healing I never asked for, but the ECK knew I needed it.)

In contemplation the morning after my dream, I felt gratitude to the Mahanta for this healing. As I expressed my thanks inwardly, I heard a quiet whisper: “The healing has been completed on the inner. Now it is up to you whether you want to keep repeating your old story.”

I was instantly reminded of the spiritual exercise I’d been doing to let go of old memories that entangle Soul. The healing was complete on the inner. From here on, retelling the stories would be like running an old computer program on a new, upgraded machine.

The ECK had done Its part in the healing; now it was up to me whether I’d honor the healing by not continuing to tell my old story.

Shortly after, I was given a test. Was I ready to practice discipline to truly let go of this old story?

The Same Old Story?

One day I “randomly” met a young guy who happened to have gone to the same school I’d attended. I say randomly, because I met him in a location that was not even close to where we went to school. We somehow stumbled into a conversation about experiences we’d shared during our school days. By force of habit I was about to launch into retelling my story.

As the words started to come out of my mouth, I caught myself. Instead, I asked him a question: “What was it like for you?”

He went on to tell me how—despite similarities in our memories—his experience was incredibly positive and full of love. I laughed to myself and celebrated how perfect his time at school had been. I was able to see how subjective life’s happenings can be. The pain I went through two decades ago was so much in the story I told myself.

So I’d passed the test and got confirmation of the importance of discrimination in sharing one’s stories. But more than this, the true healing came through my practice of the spiritual exercises and recording and interpreting my dreams over time.

I was able to connect the diamonds to see the miracle of ECK at work in my life over many years. And just as the spiritual exercise in Sri Harold’s book promised, there is now more room in my heart and life for love.

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